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Mary Maxie » Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories from Phoenix

Archive for Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories from Phoenix

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories

Mary’s funny Real Estate Stories: Some MLS photos are good, some bad, but some are hilarious. One set of photos showed a master bedroom, with the owner still in bed! Couldn’t the realtor wait a minute till the person got up & made the bed? Another realtor obviously didn’t realize that when you take a photo in a bathroom where there are mirrors, that you can be seen in the mirror when the photo is taken. There she was in all her glory, taking a photo of the bathroom, & she was topless! Maybe the a/c was turned off & she was hot taking all those photos?

Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene? Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:
*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home at mary.maxie@pruaz.com
*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying
*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report, Arizona Living
*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597
Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Prudential Arizona Properties
Frequent updates at my blog www.marymaxie.com

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories

Mary’s Funny (or in this case, Scary) Real Estate Stories:

http://www.businessinsider.com/sears-customer-snake-dishwasher-2012-9

Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene? Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:
*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home at mary.maxie@pruaz.com
*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying
*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report, Arizona Living
*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597
Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Prudential Arizona Properties
Frequent updates at my blog www.marymaxie.com

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories: Out showing houses & stopped for lunch with clients. My (male) client sat down & asked if I minded if he took off his leg. Even though he had shorts on, his leg was so realistic I hadn’t noticed that it was a prosthesis. So he took it off, & as we were leaving, he took it out from under the table, & re-attached it. You just never know what is going to happen when you are showing houses!

Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene?
Interested in learning about short sales & how they affect your credit?
Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:
*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home at www.marymaxie.pruaz.com
*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying
*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report, Arizona Living
*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597
Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Prudential Arizona Properties
Frequent updates at my blog www.marymaxie.com

Mary’s funny Real Estate Stories

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories: Great house, great neighborhood, great price. Problem? block retaining wall/fence behind, belonging to commercial building, was leaning precariously toward the house. It had been water eroded, & cars from the parking lot above had run into the wall, which looked like it would fall into the yard & onto the house at any moment. Bank refused to do anything about it, like contact the commercial building mgr or have an erosion test done, or shore up the fence, so buyer walked. Banks get away with anything these days.

Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene?
Interested in learning about short sales & how they affect your credit?
Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:
*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home at www.marymaxie.pruaz.com
*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying
*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report, Arizona Living
*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597
Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Prudential Arizona Properties
Frequent updates at my blog www.marymaxie.com

Mary’s Funny? Real Estate Stories

Mary’s funny? Real Estate Stories: Went to show a house built in 1994, which hadn’t been cleaned since it was new. that wasn’t the worst part. Worst was that in one of the bedrooms there was brown spatter all over the walls, ceiling, floor, window, that looked suspiciously like blood spatter! E-w-w-w. Why doesn’t the bank clean up stuff like that before it goes on the market? If there was a murder or suicide in the house, it’s a disclosure issue, & people have to be told, so they can make up their minds if they want to live there or not. I know I wouldn’t want to live there!

Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene?
Interested in learning about short sales & how they affect your credit?
Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:
*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home at www.marymaxie.pruaz.com
*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying
*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report, Arizona Living
*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597
Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Prudential Arizona Properties
Frequent updates at my blog www.marymaxie.com

Mary’s Funny Phoenix Real Estate Stories

Mary’s Funny Phoenix Real Estate Stories: One house had a plaque attached to the kitchen floor, stating that the seller’s baby had been born on that spot. HOpe they finally made it to the hospital, & hope they took the plaque with them when they moved out.
Free Stuff from Mary@marymaxie.com
FREE Pickup of books, paperbacks, videos, CDs, sheet music, for VNSA Charity Book Sale
FREE Tips on Home staging your house for better showings
FREE Tips for First Time Home Buyers
FREE Tips for First Time Home Sellers
FREE The 10 Things Most Often Cited on Home Inspections
FREE Info on 180 day rule for foreign home buyers
FREE Info on FIRPTA Rules for foreign investors
FREE Info on what Canadian buyers of Arizona Real Estate need to know.
FREE shopping, golf, sports, Arizona Living info
FREE info on Great Canadian Picnic, & Canada Cup Golf Tournament
FREE Market News from www.marymaxie.com
Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor
Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Prudential Arizona Properties
GREEN Master of Real Estate, GRI, CRS, ABR, CSSR, SFR, CRMS, CIPS

Mary’s Funny Phoenix Real Estate Stories

 

Mary’s Funny Phoenix Real Estate Stories

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories:

I have had several stories lately that I haven’t posted yet so here are your laughs for the day:

1. ThePhoenixTV news reported the other day that a listing realtor went over to an emptyScottsdalehouse to check on it. Heard strange noises from the garage, & found five– count ‘em, five– diamondback rattle snakes had taken up residence in the garage! Scary!

2. Tried to get the key out of the MLS lockbox, & the inside container with key was missing. Told the listing realtor that we wanted to get in, & she told us she didn’t have a key, so we’d have to find another house!! Does she want to sell it or doesn’t she? Later called seller, who let us in & told me she had the keybox inside the house. What a comedy of errors! Ended up offering on the house but have to wait for bank approval now.

3. Mary’s funny Real Estate Stories: house had carpet thruout, but paths of tile like a yellow brick road thru all the rooms. Finally figured former occupant likely had a wheelchair, but why not get rid of all the carpet, not just the paths?

4. Mary’s ‘funny’ real estate stories: I see a new homeowner taking possession of his house inFloridafound a dead body in a car in the garage! Surprise!

5. Buyer told us he was replacing picture window with sliding glass doors, then proceeded to ask my seller for $500 because the picture window had lost it’s thermal seal! My seller refused because he had told us about his plan to replace it.

6. Realtor told me her client wanted to take her own car so she could bring her dog along. When they picked her up, big dog was in front seat, realtor had to sit in back all day!

7. From a realtor, who gave 30% referral fee to another realtor, 25% commission to her broker, accepted 1% less commission from bank, whose clients DEMANDED a closing gift. My opinion of closing gifts? Do you give a gift to the grocer/plumber for good service? Realtors do a bangup job under trying circumstances, fo less money, more headaches, so maybe realtors deserve a gratuity for good service! 

 8. Years ago, my cousin was staying part time for the summer at our Grandad’s. He was out on the road working, came back, walked in to see strange lady in bathrobe. They introduced themesleves & the lady said she had bought the house the week before. Grampa hadn’t bothered to tell my cousin the house was sold.

9. Hard to sell a listing which has two abandoned cars full of feral cats next door. House also full of cats. Calls to animal control didn’t work. Even the neighbors’ BB guns didn’t work! Finally calls to the two old ladies’ relatives worked, the ladies moved to assisted living, the house was cleaned up, painted, & the cats disappeared. Then I got the listing for the cat house too.

10. Showing a house where young daughter needed brain surgery. Father asked me to hand out fund raiser cards at my office. My cliient pulled out $100 bill & contributed on the spot. I love my clients.

11. That TV program Hoarders is sad but true. Over 15 years in real estate, & I have seen lots of those kinds of houses. Also saw lots when I was a social worker many years ago…

If anyone has funny stories they want to share, please send them along. I’m thinking of writing a book.

Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene? Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:

*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home

*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying

*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report,ArizonaLiving

*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              602-738-6597      end_of_the_skype_highlighting

Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Prudential Arizona Properties

Mary’s funny Phoenix Real Estate Stories

Mary’s Funny Phoenix Real Estate Stories:
I heard this from an appraiser called to evaluate a home for estate purposes. A brother & sister were at odds over the estate & she tried to have the brother whacked. She paid a homeless person $10,000 cash and showed him where to put the body. The homeless guy went to the brother and told him, “Your sister really hates you!”. He gave the money to the brother and left. The brother wants him for a witness to prosecute the sister but they can’t find him now.

Canadians: Want to know more about buying a home in Arizona? Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:
*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home
*180 day rule for foreign nationals
*FIRPTA tax rules for selling your home in the USA
*Difference between using Escrow and a lawyer for conveyancing
*Disclosure issues
*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report, Arizona Living
*Market News from www.ArizonasRealEstate.com
*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              602-738-6597      end_of_the_skype_highlighting begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              602-738-6597 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              602-738-6597      end_of_the_skype_highlighting      end_of_the_skype_highlighting
*Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Prudential Arizona Properties mary@marymaxie.com
GREEN Master of Real Estate, GRI, CRS, ABR, CSSR, SFR, CRMS

Bugs Everywhere- Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories

Bugs Everywhere- how not to sell a house

 
Bugs, bugs everywhere– how not to sell a house in Arizona:
Mary’s funny Real Estate Stories: 3 houses, same subdivision, full of crawling bugs. My bug expert said they were either flying ants, or termites. In either case, couldn’t wait to get out. Funny part was when listing agent called to get feedback on the houses, WOULD NOT believe HER houses had bugs! Told me I must be mistaken, or that I didn’t have the right address of HER listings. I suggested that if she checked her listings once a week, she might see the bugs herself.
Same subdivision also had 2 houses, which were being treated for Africanized or Killer Bees! Would you want to show a house where the MLS listing said there were Killer Bees present? Neither would I. My bug expert says that 65% of bees they treat in Arizona nowadays are Africanized Killer Bee hybrids, as the original Killer bees have now mated with the regular bees.
The swarms love all the abandoned or bank owned houses, where they can live unmolested for months. They get inside the walls of houses, and you have to tear the drywall off, and sometimes the outside siding or stucco to get at the hives & honeycombs. Some banks just send in someone to smoke bomb the bees, which kills them, but leaves the hives/homeycombs intact. Other bees can smell the honey from up to 4 miles away, and new bees will just head on over and take over the hives/homeycombs left behind. To truly get rid of them you have to get rid of all traces of the hives.
And it’s cricket season here in Arizona. Mostly crickets are harmless. They don’t bite, birds like them for food, and a monthly spray of the house & yard keeps them down. But they do eat holes in clothing, just like moths. And if you’ve ever tried to get to sleep when one of them is ‘singing’ in your bedroom, they are very annoying!
We get lots of other kinds of bugs, but these are the ones I ran into this week!
Maxiemize Lifestyle in Arizona, but Minimize Bugs!
www.marymaxie.com

Free Stuff from Mary@marymaxie.com

FREE Pickup of books, paperbacks, videos, CDs, sheet music, for VNSA Charity Book Sale

FREE Tips on Home staging your house for better showings

FREE Tips for First Time Home Buyers

FREE Tips for First Time Home Sellers

FREE The 10 Things Most Often Cited on Home Inspections

FREE Info on 180 day rule for foreign home buyers

FREE Info on FIRPTA Rules for foreign investors

FREE Info on what Canadian buyers of Arizona Real Estate need to know.

FREE shopping, golf, sports, Arizona Living info

FREE info on Great Canadian Picnic, & Canada Cup Golf Tournament

FREE Market News from www.marymaxie.com

Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor

Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Desert Dwellers Realty

GREEN Master of Real Estate, GRI, CRS, ABR, CSSR, SFR, CRMS, CIPS

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories

Mary’s Funny Phoenix Real Estate Stories -Pigeons take over mansion
Wow! What a steal! MLS stated $400,000 house needed finishing, which was an understatement to say the least. Previous owner had torn down 3 houses to build this mansion, but according to internet stories & the neighbors, had been sent to jail for mortgage fraud a couple of years ago, leaving his dream home unfinished.
Most impressive was the size– likley 10,000 sq ft, and the front doors, which were heavy black & gold metal & glass, with a two foot medallion/knocker in the center of each. Neighbor told us each door (3 in all) cost $20,000. But the house had been abandoned at framing stage, & had been open to elements & critters for years. There was pigeon poop everywhere (& I mean everywhere) along with a few dead birds here and there. Smelled disgusting.
You could see the design was exquisite & would have been a showplace if it had ever been finished off.
Figured the house would need at least another million to finish, but after being open to elements for a couple of years, would likely have to be demolished, so no sale.
Maxiemize knowledge!

Canadians: Want to know more about buying a home in Arizona? Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:

*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home

*180 day rule for foreign nationals

*FIRPTA tax rules for selling your home in theUSA

*Difference between using Escrow and a lawyer for conveyancing

*Disclosure issues

*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report,ArizonaLiving

*Market News from www.marymaxie.com

*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597

*Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Desert Dwellers Realty mary@marymaxie.com

GREEN Master of Real Estate, GRI, CRS, ABR, CSSR, SFR, CRMS, CIPS

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories:
I heard this from an appraiser called to evaluate a home for estate purposes. A brother & sister were at odd over the estate & she tried to have the brother whacked. She paid a homeless person $10,000 cash and showed him where to put the body. The homeless guy went to the brother and told him, “Your sister really hates you!”. He gave the money to the brother and left. The brother wants him for a witness to prosecute the sister but they can’t find him now.

 

Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene? Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:

*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home

*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying

*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report,ArizonaLiving

*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597

Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Desert Dwellers Realty

Frequent updates at my blog www.marymaxie.com

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories

 
Collectors’ Hints:

In one house, we stopped counting at 300 pairs of ladies shoes in every color of the rainbow. (And I thought I was Imelda.) These were neatly arranged by color and style, in a bedroom the owner had converted into an extra walk-in closet. There were commercial racks for the shoes, plus racks for clothing, and several racks for boots and purses.

A model railroad enthusiast wanted to sell his house. He had train track shelving around the perimeter of every room about a foot from the ceiling. The trains could completely circle and interconnect with every room in the entire house, and he wanted to know if I thought he should have them running when people came to view the house. He was very insulted when I asked him to take the whole rigmarole down and store it while it was listed.

People collect things and think everyone wants to see them. One lady had special shelves built to house a collection of thousands of dolls, another had hundreds of Santas, and yet another had salt and pepper shakers from all over the world. One couple had Coca Cola memorabilia everywhere. ALWAYS take down your collections/hobbies before listing your house.

Free Stuff from Mary@marymaxie.com

FREE Pickup of books, paperbacks, videos, CDs, sheet music, for VNSA Charity Book Sale

FREE Tips on Home staging your house for better showings

FREE Tips for First Time Home Buyers

FREE Tips for First Time Home Sellers

FREE The 10 Things Most Often Cited on Home Inspections

FREE Info on 180 day rule for foreign home buyers

FREE Info on FIRPTA Rules for foreign investors

FREE Info on what Canadian buyers of Arizona Real Estate need to know.

FREE shopping, golf, sports, Arizona Living info

FREE info on Great Canadian Picnic, & Canada Cup Golf Tournament

FREE Market News from www.marymaxie.com

Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor

Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Desert Dwellers Realty

GREEN Master of Real Estate, GRI, CRS, ABR, CSSR, SFR, CRMS, CIPS

 

How not to sell your house: Mary Maxie’s funny real estate stories

How NOT to sell a house: Mary’s funny real estate stories

 
Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories: I went to do a listing presentation to a lady who raises exotic birds. There were cages from floor to ceiling on all the walls of every room in the house, obviously making all the rooms much smaller than they actually were.

The noise from the birds was deafening, sort of like being in the rain forest. There were feathers flying everywhere, and her fans were just causing them to fly and land on every surface. There was also a good amount of bird poop and bird seed everywhere. Some of the birds were out of their cages and flying around, landing on me, my paperwork, my briefcase, etc. It was complete chaos.

I gently tried to tell her that buyers wouldn’t be able to even see the house, because there were so many birds and feathers etc. around. She was hurt to think I might suggest that she move the birds to another location while the house was on the market. She was offended when I said that perhaps there were lots of people (like me) who wouldn’t be thrilled to have birds squawking and flying around while they were viewing the house. I turned down the listing. Can you even imagine how difficult it would be to hold an open house there?

Don’t hurt your chances of selling by being too rigid in your views of your pets or other stuff after your realtor gently asks you to change something. She is not trying to offend you, but tell you what buyers want to see when they look for a new home.

  Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene? Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:

*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home

*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying

*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report,ArizonaLiving

*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597

Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Desert Dwellers Realty

Frequent updates at my blog www.marymaxie.com

How not to sell a house: Mary Maxie’s funny real estate stories

How NOT to sell a house

 
Mary’s Funny Real Estate stories: How not to sell a house– I was showing a house, and the first turnoff for my clients was a large cage of mice. We couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to keep common field mice, but we continued to tour the house. When we got to the master bedroom, there was a large heavy shelf above the bed, with an enormous fish tank on it. In the tank was the bigest boa constrictor I had ever seen, and for a snake-o-phobic, like me, it was at least 118 feet long. We figured out what the mice in the cage were for, and beat a hasty retreat.

Another house (not the same buyers, thank heavens) had a reptile room downstairs. Snakes, tarantulas, gila monsters, lizards, etc. My clients walked out and said they would always be afraid one of the reptiles would have escaped and they would find it in the wall or coming up thru the toilet.

Get rid of pets like these before the house is shown. In 99% of cases, people don’t like reptiles, and we can’t just advertise for those who do, and hope they will show up to view the house.

 
 Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene? Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:

*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home

*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying

*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report,ArizonaLiving

*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597

Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Desert Dwellers Realty

Frequent updates at my blog www.marymaxie.com

Mary Maxie’s funny Real Estate stories

 

Mary’s Funny Real Estate Stories

 
Naked real estate stories:

-I showed a house where there was a naked 500lb man watching TV in it. He may have had undershorts on, but there was nothing visible that we could see around the fat rolls. Didn’t stay long at that one.

-I knocked, called out and entered a house with my clients, and spied through the family room window, two good looking young females swimming naked in the pool. I went outside to tell them we were in the house. They were sure embarassed, and scrambled to get their swim suits on.

-I rang, opened the door, and called out, in case someone was home, and a woman who had been showering came out to greet us with just a towel around herself. I did phone ahead, so why was she so surprised to see us?

-There have always been rumors that realtors meet in empty houses when they are having affairs. There were no cars visible out front of this one listing, so my clients and I went in through the unlocked door. We heard strange noises and muffled voices coming from the master bedroom, and so I called out again. A very upset, disheveled, surprised and embarassed couple came out of the bedroom, handed me the lockbox key, and ran out the door to the garage, where they had parked their cars.

-The owners knew we were coming to view the house, so must have wanted us to see them. They were in bed, TV on, middle of the day, and naked, as far as my clients and I could see. We asked if we could wait outside so they could leave, and they said it was quite all right if we toured the house, and they would stay where they were, watching TV.

-My clients and I knocked on the door, and heard footsteps approaching, so I didn’t use the lockbox key. The inner door opened, and a totally naked man answered. We told him we’d be back later, but my clients didn’t want to go back after that.

 

Want to know more about the Phoenix Scottsdale home scene? Call or email mary@marymaxie.com for free info on the following:

*Register for frequent MLS updates on your new Arizona Home

*Disclosure issues affecting Phoenix Home buying

*Shopping, Golf, Sports, Critter Report,ArizonaLiving

*Maxiemize Lifestyle with PhoenixAreaCanadianRealtor 602-738-6597

Mary Maxie, Associate Broker, Desert Dwellers Realty

Frequent updates at my blog www.marymaxie.com